15th August - "Uncle Mike Needs a Hug"
Lloyds ring up to say that they have no idea where the card is, so they're going to cancel it and send a new one to my home address. Means I'll have to go into a branch to get money out. Bit of a pain, but I know where there's a closer one now.Also a message from Kev F - I am to understudy a larger part in the Sitcom Trials today, but it's one of the sitcoms I've seen a few times, and the character is a freelance web developer - so it shouldn't be too hard for me to get my head round!
Spinning Jenny is nearly full and we get lots of laughs - a big audience has a nice vibe. If you've got 40 or 50 people in then at least one of them will find a joke funny, and if laughter is going on then everyone loosens up a bit and pretty soon they're all enjoying themselves. I'm organising for some friends to come and see the play on Sunday, which should be interesting. I have never actually seen it because I'm in the wings the whole time. It'll be nice to get someone else's opinion.
Straight to the Sitcom Trials after this to have a look at the script. Have enough time before the show to pop out and get a nice roll and doughnut - much cheaper than home in Brighton. When I first got there the chairs were still locked away - lots of staff standing around waiting for the key to be found. They got them set out in time though.
Both Spinning Jenny and Death by Sketches get nice reviews in Three Weeks. Some nice quotable bits. We have "such a talented young cast" apparently...
Bit of flyering and also join the Fringe Society - Peter Buckley-Hill is standing for election and I think he'd be great - one of those people who still does Fringe shows for the old-fashioned reasons like putting on a good show that people will enjoy. Must remember to go to the AGM and vote on Saturday, although I'll have to get time off flyering to do that.
Pop back to the flat for another short catnap. Up at 10pm to join in drinking games - the others are having a bit of a party and are already drunk by this point. They don't seem to mind the fact that I'm playing a drinking game with a mug of tea...
11.30 comes and I leave as I've got a ticket for Ross Noble's midnight show at the George Square Theatre. Can't find a merchandise stall - he's got some cool t-shirts this year so I'll have to get one later. Bizarrely I have come to this show as much for the pre-show music as for the show - Damian from the Black Liars did the music and I wanted to hear it. Sort of bluegrass/country versions of songs like Layla and Paint it Black - pretty cool stuff. Must be him playing the bass on it, but I'll have to find out if he did the other instruments too.
Ross is, of course, a genius and plays to a packed house. Must be up for the Perrier this year. A particular favourite bit for me is a long musing on ballerinas - how they don't seem to be able to support the weight of their own heads, and he therefore reckons they must be being propelled by men in the wings with fans, blowing them across the stage... then the bits where they jump up are when they get caught in the air conditioning. Brilliant. Ross wonders why there is so much sneezing going on - an allergy to his bagpipe references maybe? I'm wondering why people can't make sure they go to the toilet before the show starts...
Back to Teviot for Late and Live. Spare seat next to Mark Felgate so we watch and comment - two Late and Live 'virgins' in Patrick Monaghan and Alan Carr, who both manage to hold their own against the somewhat hostile crowd. In the bar afterwards manage to introduce myself to various people - Steve Hughes remembers me and beckons me to sit with the likes of him, Mike Wilmot and Brendan Burns, and a chap called Richard who is a bigwig at the Assembly Rooms I believe. I'm feeling very fortunate to be in such circles.
Mike is telling us that a few of the comperes, including Boothby Graffoe and Adam Hills, have taken to bringing him onstage as "Uncle Mike". He and Brendan are having great fun with this, and we're all weeping with laughter when Mike exclaims "Uncle Mike needs a hug..." and Brendan obliges like a good comedy nephew.
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16th August - Understudy
Today Jon is to understudy Paul as Paul isn't very well - I wrap Paul up in a blanket and make him a nice cup of tea before going out - money from home is now in the bank but because of all the trouble with the card I have to go into a branch to get it out.Jon does well in the play - I was all ready to prompt but I put my script away halfway through as he doesn't need any help. Straight to the Sitcom Trials again, although I think Kev is re-jigging things so I don't think they'll need me to understudy again. It was quite fun to do but it means I don't really get a break all afternoon so it'll be nice to have a rest. One of the audience asks me outside about the Sitcom Trials and how we all got involved - bit wierd to be thought of as an actress - I've always been quite flexible in my talents though!
Also make it to the Fringe Green Room to photocopy some flyers with the Black Liars web address on as they are doing the Otis Lee Crenshaw show as of Sunday and I want to get some publicity at the Assembly Rooms if I can. Christian has sent me a message to say he'll sort me out a ticket for Sunday - I've organised tickets for Spinning Jenny for him, Nick and Jane for Sunday too.
Huge queue for the guillotine though - everyone has reviews they want to staple to their flyers of course. I'll get a knife and mat in a stationers I think.
Do that, then decide to have a nice lunch in the Wok Bar near the Pleasance Dome - good noodles and very nice prawn crackers with chilli dip. Muse on things over lunch - must get a Ross Noble t-shirt. They weren't selling them at the George Square Theatre so I'll have to get one from the Pleasance when he's doing his show there. I think they're a bit cheaper if you buy them with a ticket to the show - hopefully they'll take the ticket I have and let me have a bit of money off. Need to watch the pennies at this stage of the festival.
Peter Buckley-Hill is standing for election to the Fringe Board of Directors - I think he'd be great as he's one of those rare breed of comics that are doing it for the comedy. Promise to vote for him - I think I've missed the postal voting but can go to the AGM on Saturday and vote I think.
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17th August - Will Someone Answer That Phone?!
Fringe Society meeting at 11am - take a shortcut through the Underbelly to get down to Cowgate and bump into Nick and Jane who are well pleased as they got four stars in today's Scotsman! Also a big picture and lots of column inches, so they have laminated this review and are putting it up outside the venue. It'll be nice to have something good to shout when I'm flyering for them.Went to the meeting - usual AGM-type stuff. Interesting to see the Fringe from the inside, if you see what I mean. Do the voting. Then the floor is open, but thankfully I have an excuse not to stay for the debating bit as I have a show to do!
On the way sort out some comps as some of the Jenny posse want to see Death by Sketches. Play goes fine, apart from someone who not only leaves their phone on, but also doesn't answer it when it rings very loudly during the play! Puts everyone off a bit as they can't believe it's not being switched off - can only presume the audience member in question was trying to pretend it wasn't theirs. Everyone got a bit flustered and a couple of lines got missed but I don't think anyone really noticed.
Silky, a friend of mine, was in the audience but I didn't know he was there - by the time I found out I was told he'd gone. Had to go off as I'd promised Nick and Jane I'd help them with flyer stapling. Apparently everyone was waiting in the bar for me to show up. Oh well.
We were going to go to Death by Sketches but they sold out in the end so we couldn't get in. I've seen it a few times and the others will doubtless see it another day, so we go for a drink in the Underbelly bar. Everyone's talking about something they're doing at the Establishment, a comedy venue in one of the C venues. 60 comics in 60 minutes - sounds interesting so we buy tickets, on the way to Brooke's Bar, which is the Pleasance performers' bar.
We sit in Brooke's and chat - Paul is already there with Ria Lina who is a comic he knows. Nice chinwag, then we start to make our way towards C. I pause for a moment while we await stragglers, and notice that there are fireworks going off outside and because I'm on the balcony in the Dome I can see them through the glass dome above, as I'm above the cloth drapes that are artfully draped around - feels a bit special - there's all this pretty stuff going on outside and it feels like I'm the only person in the Dome who knows about it. Reminds me of a Max Ehrmann poem called "A Few Hours Ago":
A few hours ago, hot and tired, I was surrounded by the jargon of business, myself a part of it. Now near the middle of the night, I am sitting by an open window. Everything is still and the soft night air is cool. The sky seems very near, and the stars lie over the heavens stretching on and on. The moon is passing in and out of the clouds, making a shadow-chequered day of the night, and breaking the sky with shafts of gold. All silent, the universe is doing its work - beautiful mysterious, religious! What was all the jargon about a few hours ago?
So, after that brief artistic interlude, onwards to the comedian a minute a thon. I'm very interested in this - it's the kind of experimental thing I come to Fringe to see. It'll be interesting to see how it pans out. Comperes are Johnny Dynamite and his spiv, mafioso-style manager (played by Russell Howard) - and they initially have a bit of trouble as the PA doesn't seem to be working. They get through it masterfully though, and it sounds like the crowd are up for it. Good, considering they've sat through a few numbers from a Rage Against the Machine tribute band - now I admit I have a Rage Against the Machine album myself, but it's not really the kind of thing to have as warmup for a late-night comedy evening.
So to the comedy. Bit of a gong show - everyone comes on and does their 60 seconds and either leaves or is exploded off by Johnny's sound effects - he and Russell do siller and siller things with the pretend dynamite they are throwing at the outgoing acts. It's a cracking show - mainly because there are two options when you only have a minute to fill - either do all your best one-liners or muck about being surreal. There's things you can get away with when you only have a minute in a fast-moving show that you could never do with 5 minutes.
Bizarrest highlights include Rob Deering playing the drums and then falling off stage, people throwing slices of bread at the audience, an awful lot of dancing with not much on, a minute long soprano sax solo a la modern jazz, and lots of people just about getting to the punchline before they have to go. Wonderful silly stuff.
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18th August - Harry Potter Mark
Rainy horrible day. Get a nice hot chocolate from Chocolate Soup - an old haunt from last year. Like Costa for cocoa. Flyered for a bit. Then to the Dome - get the comps from Tom and am in the Box Office trying to put them by for Christian and Co when the man himself walks in, so I give them straight to him. He looks very tired - apparently they've been doing rehearsals for the Otis Lee Crenshaw show at 3am so he's just got out of bed. Makes me very flattered that they've come to see the play.Back up to start the play and Russell asks me if I've seen the soundtrack CDs - last time I saw them they were in my hand as I was going down to the toilets to rinse out the glasses and re-fill the fake vodka bottle as I was going to put them in his little techie booth on my way and I must have left them down there - only a few minutes before the show and run down to the Ladies' but they're not there! Run back up and hunt through the props - not there either.
So, we have no sound effects and it's totally and utterly my fault. On the day when I have some friends in. Run back downstairs again with only a few minutes to go - ask the cleaners. They reckon they would have been handed in at the office in the entrance. Run there. They've been handed in. Phew. Run back up again. Do the play. Best show so far - the audience are getting every single joke which is great! Nick, Jane and Christian come up afterwards and say they really enjoyed it which is good - as I'm backstage I haven't ever really seen it so it's nice to get feedback from people.
Sit with Mark Felgate and Adrian Poynton for a bit - Adrian is a comic who is visiting and staying with Mark. Mark shows me his Harry Potter Mark - apparently Noel stood on his head accidentally in last night's Death by Sketches. Lucky he didn't lose an eye - you can't really see it in this picture, but he has a red scratch on his forehead above his left eye. Death by Sketches is a bit anarchic so I'm not surprised they've had an injury really - hope they're being careful now!
Then to the Library Bar where someone has left a paper - so have a nice hour or so sitting on a comfy sofa reading the paper. A cup of tea is brought in a polystyrene cup - apparently they thought the tea was a staff order and therefore didn't bring it in a posh cup but I'm not proud so I'll have it without a saucer...
Flyer for a bit for Nick and Jane - run out of flyers with their nice review on so go to the show early. It's during this show I finally notice (after seeing it a number of times) that one of the songs they have written up on the wall behind them has two lines swapped around so it's not actually palindromic. They sing it the right way though. Point it out. Presume they'll cut it up and sellotape it back the right way!
Get a lift with them to the Assembly Rooms for the Otis Lee Crenshaw show. For some reason the promised comp is not in the Box Office and the staff there don't know anything about it so ring the guys and they walk me in, up a ladder and so I watch the show from the lighting box which is very cool indeed! Great view and nice chat with the Kiwi lighting tech who did their show last year, so we talk about our favourite songs old and new...
Found Mark and Adrian again after the show and we hang out. To the Midnight Show that Mark does - last night in the Teviot Nightclub as they're moving to the Balcony which is the venue I saw the Free Beer Show in - hope they've got air conditioning now. After the midnight show we go on to Late and Live but don't actually go in - I think we played the Weakest Link quiz machine but I'm not sure if this was today or not - this bit is a bit vague. Everything is merging together - not sure which days I did what.
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19th August - You Had to Be There
Our day off - so a big lie-in. Finally get out of bed when Mark rings at about 4pm - he's just got out of bed too. He and Adrian are going for food, so I struggle out of bed and make my way into town. Presumably because of the fact that I haven't done my usual miles of walking today I'm feeling like I've had lead weights hung all over me - so I get the bus. We have a very nice pasta meal with the silly conversations that you always have when having a meal with stand-ups.We wander over to the Pleasance Courtyard and meet loads of people on the way - James Holmes and Mike (I think it is) - the tall one from Men in Coats. Talk comedy for a bit in the sun on a step. Make my way back to the Caves as I'm going to Death by Sketches yet again. Bump into Brian Damage on the way - he's having a benefit night tomorrow evening for himself, bizarrely. His car was stolen and torched so he's trying to raise enough money to hire a car to get back to London after the festival. He's got the photos to prove it. Looks like a cracking lineup of lots of decent comics doing five minutes each, so I'll definitely go along to that.
Death by Sketches starts, and then starts again to much audience amusement as some people are late in. Quick fast-forward from Steve and Noel. The audience are loving it - I described it as being like the Goons on stage, which Noel likes very much as I hear him quoting it to people when he's flyering. Their dressing room is backstage in Caves 1 - very atmospheric old cellars with bricked-up doorways and holes where floorboards used to be.
Then on with Noel to Brian Damage's other gig at the Fiscal - small audience but good comics. Brian tells a good joke which I must tell my Dad at some point - he'll like it. About a skeleton going into a bar. Brian does all his "greatest hits" including "Country Boy" and "Bunch of..." Manage to surreptitiously read my e-mail during the gig - the wonders of modern technology. Krystal (Brian's usual beautiful assistant) is not at the gig today and he's giving us a running commentary on what she would be doing in the songs if she was there... but she wasn't. Harriet Bowden is here too, laid out on a sofa as she's not feeling well. Looks nice and cosy.
I want something to eat so try and get a pie from Piemaker but they're shut - so onwards to the Pleasance Dome where they do burger and chips. Spot Natalie Haynes' other half while I'm having my dinner and so join them, Howard Read and Rob Deering after my dinner. Natalie, it turns out, didn't know about my birthday party - I'd have thought word would have got to her, so I must go to her show again and we'll go out and do something nice.
Then to the Midnight Show again - first night in the Balcony and thankfully they've sorted out some air conditioning. Only about 7 people in the audience so the comics are getting them all involved and everything's getting a bit silly! Mark has always, apparently, harboured a desire to shout out something like "Donkey Sex!" in the middle of a show.. so when, after someone makes a particulary silly squealing noise that he reckons sounds a bit like someone "fingering a hamster" (and Mark's act involves a lot of silly noises and voices) he has us all in stitches with his interpretation of this - bit like a Muppaphone if you remember that! Anyway, to cut a long story short he then talks about fingering other, larger animals and I just have to shout out "donkey sex!" and he's in stitches... and then he goes on to say that the word "flange" sounds very rude, but isn't. You just had to be there...
Another "You had to be there" moment was this evening's Late and Live - firstly Henrik Elmer gets the audience so on his side he's getting laughs just by looking bemused at the fact that he's getting laughs by not actually saying anything. Then, before the headline act comes on, Stephen K Amos (another act who has featured in previous diaries) heckles Dan Kitson from the back of the room, and Dan dares him to come up and wrestle. Steve comes part of the way up but doesn't come all the way up to the stage, so Dan leaves the stage, comes after him, and picks him up and carries him all the way back and up onto the stage, puts him down on the floor and sits on him...
Dan is talking to him.. "So Steve, are you up here long? - a weak voice answers "four days...". Dan: Doing a show? Steve (weakly) "No....". Dan releases Steve, gaffer tapes a particularly rowdy heckler's mouth shut, and brings on the last act, an American whose name I think was Grier or something like that. He has a good show, and then Dan dares him to a wrestle - Grier accepts so shirts are removed, trouser legs rolled up and the wrestling begins, after Henrik is elected by popular audience acclaim to the post of referee. "On my left... " Kitson wins, and is lauded mightily by the crowd as he pants with exhaustion and brings Cat Empire on. Brilliant stuff.
Sat in the bar afterwards chatting with the likes of Kev F, Rob Heeney, Peter Buckley-Hill and the lighting tech from the Assembly Rooms I saw Otis Lee Crenshaw with - think his name is Mike. Nice chap.
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20th August - Third Party Fire and Theft
Signed my first autograph today - someone collecting all of Cut and Paste's squiggles. Not quite sure why. Maybe a friend of one of the cast or something.Came back out again for the big event of today - Brian Damage's benefit gig London or Bust - complete with a picture of their torched car gaffer taped to the backdrop. They're trying to raise money to hire a car to get back home at the end of the festival. Good excuse for a gig, anyway. One of those "turn up and do five minutes" kind of things.
Brian does a new song, poignantly entitled "Anybody Want to Buy a Roofrack?". Krystal trying to play the tambourine also has to be seen to be believed...
Bit of a faux pas though - saw a comic called Steve Williams and told him I thought he was great on Late and Live - it wasn't him, it was Steve Hughes. They're not even from the same country. Whoops.
I started writing down all the people who were on at Brian's gig but got tired at about 1am and went home - but if you're interested, it started like this - Hal Cruttenden, Silky, Vladimir McTavish, Mark Watson (I think it was), Charlie Chuck, Alex Maxwell, Kate Bastard (her real name apparently), Seymour Mace, Patrick Monaghan, Steve Williams (not Hughes), Shazia Mirza, Nick Wilty and Alan Anderson. They then had a break while they sorted out the PA. I went at this point.
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21st August - Why Blow Out the Candles?
I now have an eye infection from wearing my lenses all the time it seems. Shouldn't wear my lenses really but all I have now is my prescription sunglasses - not much use after dark.Am lighting the birthday cake candles for the umpteenth time when I wonder, why do we do that? Why do we stick little burning things in a birthday cake and get people to blow it out and make a wish? There must be some pagan ritual thingy behind it - like mistletoe. Ask a few people but no-one seems to know. Will have to find out. I'm intrigued now. Got a ticket for the final Late and Live on Monday night to be sure I get in. Must also remember to bring a knife to Spinning Jenny that day - ritual sacrifice of cake! It's a fruit cake, should be edible.
Hear the Perrier nominations on the grapevine - haven't had this confirmed and there seems to be one more than usual - Adam Hills, Omid Djalili, Jimmy Carr, Noel Fielding, Daniel Kitson and Phil Nichol. We don't find out anything about newcomer until the do on Saturday I think.
Spot a guy in the street wearing a t-shirt which says München Bavaria. Seems a little odd to me. My husband's been working out there for a while, so I know that München is the German name for Munich. So, if they've put that part in German, why not Bayern instead of Bavaria? It's half in English, half in German. Should be either München Bayern (as in the football team) or Munich Bavaria.
Nice sunny day, flyered a bit. Want to get some shows in so I go and watch Addy Borgh, who is coincidentally in the same venue as Spinning Jenny so it's a bit wierd seeing someone else's show in there. Spot Addy walking round the Dome courtyard beforehand - chilling out no doubt. I like Addy's comedy a lot - very well observed humour, little giggles from the audience before the punchline, when they're thinking things like "I do that!". He's good at voices too, and gets a big laugh getting the audience to join in a slow-motion action replay of a bit he's just done. Lots of other laughs too!
Can just about squeeze Glenn Wools' show in before Late and Live - have seen him there a few times and was impressed so go down to that. They're filling up from the front and I end up right in the front row which is a bit intimidating but he's not that kind of comic thankfully so we all get away with putting our feet on the stage! He has a stool onstage with an ashtray and what looks like a little Buddha. Good material and very confident delivery. Has me in stitches with a medical bit - I work as a medical secretary normally so I know all about what he's talking about!
Back to Late and Live - don't think I got in for the comedy but I don't remember. Went in for Novalounge of course - Mark Felgate is supposed to be playing a song with them tonight but when the moment comes he's nowhere to be seen - "Is Mark Felgate in the building.... no." says Christian. Turns out he was getting a drink in the bar. He'll do it another day though. Christian sees him reappear and manages to sing "Mamma Mia, does it show again Mark, my my, just how much I missed you?". Don't know if anyone else spotted the gag but I laughed.
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22nd August - We Apologise for the Break in Transmission...
Not well today. Went to watch the play but didn't do the backstage stuff. Interesting to see it, although as I was watching it through dark glasses because of the whole glasses/lenses/infection thing I couldn't see it very well.Back to the flat for a quiet day in. Was going to go to Late and Live but woke up at 6am having slept through it. Hope I didn't miss Mark playing.
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23rd August - ...Normal Service will be Resumed as Soon as Possible
I've been up here nearly a month now. You can only take so much of it, it seems. Would quite like to go home. It'll pass.Decide to have a total off-day. I've been working on an embroidered map for a bit now, so decide that while I'm in Edinburgh I'll do Edinburgh Castle. Do a few other things, put some music on. Del Amitri, Simon and Garfunkel, Barenaked Ladies, Jools Holland. Total chillout day. I can feel it doing me good.
Mark sends me a message - he was at the Channel 4 party last night so didn't play with Novalounge, so thankfully I didn't miss him!
My lower eyelid has now swollen up so much I can see it in my peripheral vision and it keeps startling me, so pop to the chemist to see if they've got anything else as my usual eye ointment isn't working. She takes one look at it and sends me to the doctor. Doctor reckons it's cold sores! Around my eye. I am a bit stressed out and haven't been sleeping or eating properly so I'm not surprised really. She puts me on Aciclovir tablets - same stuff as is in Zovirax. Tablets so I'm not touching my eyelid, which I would be with cream - she gives me a sobering little instruction "Doesn't look like it's on your eyeball, but if you feel any itching or burning in your eye go straight to Casualty. You don't want sores on your eye.". Right. Okay. Yuck.
Come midnight my day of rest is officially over so I mosey along to Teviot and catch the last part of the Midnight Show. I'm not the only one it seems - Mark has been throwing up all day, Harriet pulled out because she'd lost her voice and was replaced at the last minute by Nick Revell, and Cole Parker who was supposed to be compering arrived late because he was feeling a bit under the weather so Mark had to do it. Poor old Mark's feeling a bit hard done by with all of this, but puts a brave face on it and does a good show. He's not feeling up to playing with Novalounge tonight so he goes off home to tuck himself into bed and I hang around in the bar waiting for the comedy to finish - show is full so I can't get in yet. Bump into Damian in the bar - another faux pas. Was telling him how I liked the music he'd done for Ross Noble's show, and it turns out it wasn't the interval music he did, it was the music for the video and at the end. Damn. Want to go and watch it again now as I was concentrating on the wrong bit. He doesn't seem too put out, thankfully. He goes off to change as the last comedy act is on.
Comedy finishes, horde of people come out, we scroungers are let in. Lots of people having a good time - Des Bishop who was compering Late and Live does a cracking version of "Jump Around" with them, and they do "Dress You Up" which I don't think they've done before. All the usual favourites though. Christian is obviously singing too hard - between two songs he asks if someone can get him a drink of water - his girlfriend Emma comes on with a glass, quick peck and he's back to work. Sweet.
Lots of birthdays in - am in the bar afterwards with Damian and someone who has a birthday comes up with a bit of paper that the rest of the band have autographed. Damian adds his squiggle, and when asked to write something funny does so. The birthday boy is so happy he's now asking total strangers to sign it too. I put the Black Liars web address on it for him. My second autograph.
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