Prologue 2002
This year I'm going up with Paul Kerensa - he's going to be on Take the Mike on ITV soon, so keep an eye on that. He's written a play called Spinning Jenny, and I'm going up as the Stage Manager.
For a bit more info, see the website at:
www.cutandpastetheatre.co.uk
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5th July - Official
News just in - a new patron... For those of you who have been tuning in to these diaries for a few years will know that in 98 and 99 this was part of Britcomedy Digest - a now sadly defunct net-based comedy magazine.After a year of going it alone in 2001 this diary is now going to be the official "fly on the wall" diary for the Edinburgh Internet Festival - so welcome to all the new readers!
Diary entries will begin in earnest from 21st July, but if you can't wait, have a look at the previous diaries from 1998, 1999 and 2001.
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13th July - Toontown
My last bit of real free time before everything starts so its laundry and packing time. It's a bit tricky trying to decide what to take - enough for a month but it has to fit in a rucksack. I feel like a Big Brother contestant...I'm going to meet the rest of the people in our version of "the house" on Monday - I've wangled the day off work so I can go to the first day of rehearsals and meet everyone.
I've themed my wardrobe slightly - most of the shirts I'm taking are from my extensive collection of cartoon character t-shirts. Popped into town to get a Dangermouse one printed up specially!
We'll have to get some shirts and other promotional bits and bobs done for the show. I'm sure we'll discuss this as well as the prop list on Monday.
Things are going apace - for friends in other shows too. Nick Pynn and Jane Bom-Bane are finishing a CD, Novalounge are sorting out some accomodation and other things, and lots of people are doing previews. Noel James, an old mucker of mine, is doing a gig near me tomorrow night and has invited me along, so I'll doubtless get to hear how his show is coming along - if you want to know more about their shows, see the Links Page.
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15th July - Rubber Jenny
Noel has me on the lookout for props - have managed to locate something that looks like a stethoscope for him but the fake kiwi fruit is proving to be a little more tricky.Today is our first rehearsal and I've cadged a day off work to be there - all are here except Russell who is crew and Paul who wrote it and is acting also. Paul is at Montreal for the festival there.
We get on with laying out a stage-sized space in an office in a mosaic suppliers in Tooting and working through the script, with me reading Paul's part.
They're a nice crowd and we have fun - serious about the play but not too serious, if you see what I mean! Funniest moment is Dave getting the name of the play mixed up with his lines - ending up with "rubber jenny" - we all crack up.
After we finish I decide to maximise the trip up to London by seeing Kev F's preview - he's an old friend and is pleased to have me along. On the way there I also hear the good news that another friend, Christian Reilly, is through to the Edinburgh heats of a new acts competition, "So You Think You're Funny".
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19th July - Scraps
The aforementioned Christian Reilly sent me an e-mail yesterday to see if I could take Scraps on, and today is the only day we can both do, so after my last day at work before Edinburgh is over I get on a train to Victoria...
To cut a long story short, a few months ago his girlfriend was taking out the rubbish and found a litter of kittens in their bin outside - only one had survived, so they looked after him, and as he was in the bin they called him Scraps.
Two months after this they've weaned him and he's getting a little boisterous for a little flat in Brixton, and they're not really supposed to have a cat anyway. So he's coming to live with us and our three other cats.
Christian and I meet at Victoria and cat is handed over. We let him out for a short stretch and drink of water by an escalator, and he is admired by passing commuters! Christian eventually musters the courage to say goodbye, and so Scraps and I get the train to Brighton and sit next to a nice lady carrying a poodle in a special bag! We chat, and Scraps is very well-behaved and sits on my lap for part of the journey.
There is one little habit of his that Christian has warned me about - very endearing - it seems to be something to do with the fact that he was orphaned so young and therefore not breast fed. Basically, Scraps finds suckling on human earlobes very relaxing... it feels a bit odd at first, but the sound of contented slurping and purring right in your ear certainly brings out the maternal instincts in you.
It's certainly an odd claim to fame - "Rich Hall's guitarist's ex-cat sucked my earlobes". I wonder if the papers will buy my story...!
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22nd July - Upstairs is Up the Stairs
More rehearsals - Paul is back and we're cracking on with running through the play. Still lots of laughs! Our Director, Tom, when clarifying how different parts of the set relate to parts of a house, comes up with the immortal line "Upstairs is up the stairs".
Customary lunch at the "greasy spoon" over the road and then back to work. We knock off at 4.30 and while I'd usually stay in London to go to a gig I have a husband and kitten to go home to so I head home. Doze off on the train I'm so knackered.
Spend part of the evening designing t-shirt print for the show and part smiting Orcs and suchlike on the PS2...
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23rd July - Get Set
Today we are in our other rehearsal venue - Tom the Director's mum is a headmistress so we are using her school's stage for construction of set and rehearsals. Today we are set building - we being Tom, Russell (crew) and Dave (cast). Paul, who wrote the play, joins us later in the day.
Lots of hammering and sawing ensues. We pop into town to pick out paint and wallpaper. Then back to the school. We're sanding down an old bit of scenery and pretty soon are covered in noisome powdered paint dust which is hell to get off.
Russ and Dave are creating a bar for the set. I can't really let you in on the plot but it has to be quite big for various reasons. By the end of the day they are well pleased as they have created a behemoth of a bar that looks like it could withstand a hurricane!
Dave and I are staying with Paul and his folks - Paul misses a turning on the way home and the journey takes some time, but we finally get to their lovely house - meet his dogs, one of whom is a soppy who loves having her tummy rubbed. Wonderful dinner including chocolate cheesecake with proper clotted cream! (I grew up in Devon and Paul's mum is Cornish - these things are important to us). Couple of rounds at the local pub then back to bed.
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24th July - Tag Driving
Drive from Pauls into London as we are there again today - "tag driving" - Paul and Dave each in their own car so whoever is most sure of the way takes the lead.While the cast rehearse, we of the crew (me, Jon and Russ) go to the Asdas on Lavender Hill on a prop run. Quite a bizarre selection of items. Buy some bags of doughnuts for everyone. Also a bag of Maryland cookies as, during our customary crossword this morning, Russ was adamant that Maryland is not a state... and everyone else was adamant that it was.
Traffic is as bad as ever and we get a bit lost - once round Clapham Common and we then work out where we're going! We get back and everyone else is out getting a Chinese, apart from Tom. I finish early today as I have to get the t-shirts sorted out and do my final hospital radio show before we leave for Edinburgh.
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25th July - Who Ate All The Props?
More prop building - Jon and I drive into town and after much hunting and asking people we find a place we can buy plywood sheets to tart up the bar, as well as a picture rail for the "wall" we have in our set.It's also proving a little difficult to stop the cast eating all the nibbles which are technically props - I've told them if the cake gets eaten before the end of the run they will be taken out and shot... :-)
Very nice pub lunch and the nice barman lets us take a bar towel to be a prop! Then back for more drilling and varnishing. I'm staying at Paul's again tonight but firstly we drive to Epsom as he comperes a gig there. Good selection of acts on - the headliner is James Dowdeswell who is a chum and is doing an Edinburgh show so we all have much to talk about.
We get back to Paul's quite late but have to stay up for a bit putting the finishing touches to our show's programme, while watching Dave Gorman's tv show, and then old Friends videos. Also manage to do a little flyer to hand out to comics and related people about a party I'm hosting on 13th August - started out as my birthday party but is now metamorphosing into a party for we Independent Comedy people who don't get invited to the big parties - everyone seems to think it's a great idea so I'm looking forward to it!
Paul and his brother and I watch Big Brother - they point out that the people in a reality tv show (Big Brother) are singing a song sung by someone from another reality tv show (Will Young) and this is being watched by Paul, who was in another reality tv show (Take the Mike - currently on ITV). Finally shuffle off to bed around 2.30 am - good training for the average Fringe working day!
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26th July - Don't Blame the Traffic if You Are the Traffic
Our last day of rehearsals - Paul and I are worried as we're going to be late because of a very bad tailback around Lightwater, but as it happens Tom needs us to go via his as he can't get the futon (for the set) in his car. Between the two cars we manage it.
Stupidly hot and sunny day - we go out for more varnish, Fablon etc., then for sandwiches, then back into town for poster paper and the banner (which isn't ready). After all this I'm shattered but we get a rest as the cast are using the set to rehearse, so we can't finish building it...
Rehearsals are over and so the crew get back to work. Mostly just "tarting up" the set. Paul has a gig at the Comedy Store tonight so we wish him luck and he goes. Eventually there's just me and Tom left.
My husband comes to collect me and the set is pretty much finished so I leave - "see you Tuesday" we say... then oh joy, more traffic. Some big accident on the M25 makes the journey home hours longer than it should have been.
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28th July - You Need Them for a Play?
Today is the usual pre-Edinburgh amusement of trying to get an entire month's worth of gear into baggage that a) you can carry and b) they'll allow on a plane. This is more difficult than usual as I have 9 "Spinning Jenny" t-shirts and 13 cake boxes that I got yesterday.The cake boxes are for the play - got lots of confused looks from Brighton cake shop owners when I explained why I needed so many. Got some from Grints in the end (best sarnies in Brighton I think!) and someone in the shop is going up to Edinburgh so I promised her a ticket.
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29th July - Gadget
Last day at home before I fly up... my Mum is coming to stay for a week as she is a family history buff and is using our house as a base to go up to London to look at censuses and things. We pick her up from the station and go home.
Her birthday is the 7th of August and mine is the 13th so we have our birthdays today as it's the last day we'll see each other before then - I've been spending some time over the past month or so knitting her a cottage, and we also found her a nice necklace made out of an enamelled Singapore 10 cent coin (nice picture of a seahorse).
I got some very cool computer games (sadly they'll have to wait until I get home from Edinburgh), but a very cool gadget indeed for my Jornada Pocket PC - a Targus folding keyboard that when unfolded is big enough to type properly, but folds away to something about the same size as the Jornada. Very cool indeed... especially if you are a 65 wpm typist like me! Certainly saves me a lot of time on this diary - was having to hand-write it on-screen with the stylus - if any of you use mobile computing you'll know how long this can take!
We go out for a birthday meal at the Katerina in Brighton Marina, and then to the cinema there to see the new Austin Powers film, which Mum and I like but Bill thinks isn't as funny as the first one. We go home again, and Scraps feels sure enough of Mum to take a taste of her ear - tickly it seems as she dissolves into fits of giggles until her eyes are watering! Silly cat...
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30th July - Glasgow?
Lovely day in Brighton and my flight isn't until 2.20 so we spend the morning in Brighton. A bit of shopping, some very decadent ice cream on the seafront and bratwurst in a bun on the pier. Mum and Bill then drop me off at Gatwick, and the trip to Edinburgh begins...Of course, as ever, the trip never goes entirely according to plan. All goes well initially, apart from turbulence meaning we don't get any in-flight service. I'm just beginning to look at my watch, wondering why we haven't arrived yet, when the pilot announces that we are in a holding pattern over Edinburgh as apparently a building at the airport has been struck by lightning and the runway is closed. Oh joy. We are diverted to Glasgow. At the last minute, we hear that Edinburgh airport has now re-opened and we fly back there again. Very delayed therefore, but at least I didn't have to try and get here from Glasgow. And it could have been worse. I met a chap on the bus to Edinburgh who was trying to get to Falkirk and apparently there'd been some kind of landslide so the trains and roads were out.
Ring Tom to say I'm going to be a bit late, to hear from him that not only was Dave's plane diverted to Glasgow yesterday, but the train the others were getting has been diverted to Glasgow and they are having to get a coach to Edinburgh!
We all pile into the flat and decide who's sleeping where. Time for a quick move in and spag bol cooked by Dave before our tech rehearsal tonight.
Rehearsal goes fine, and at midnight we wend our way back to the flat and look at old pictures from other shows that the others have done - big nostalgia trip. Caroline isn't very well at all, and we all hope she feels better before tomorrow...
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31st July - Cake Cameo
Our first performance is today, so we all get up bright and early and prepare things. There's a thunderstorm going on outside however, so we delay for as long as possible...! We eventually go out in it - most are off flyering but I have some last-minute props to get.
We all meet later at the venue and get everything set up. We've sold some tickets - so there is an air of tension as we now have paying punters here to see the show. Luckily, Caroline feels up to doing the show, although she is still a bit pale so has been excused flyering duties.
The show begins and all goes well. Despite the fact I spend most of Act One wedged in a very small space in the wings, I manage to get all the props on at the right times. A bit of trouble lighting the candles on the cake until I realise I have the candle in question upside-down and am trying to light the little plastic thing you stand in the cake. The cake only has a cameo role really - it goes on, the candles are blown out, it goes offstage again.
The audience laugh and some actually thank us on the way out, which is a good sign! We are all in a good mood, and go to the Frankenstein pub for a meal afterwards, I have deep-fried Brie which is one of my favourites!
We go to the Pleasance Box Office to pick up our passes only to find that they want two passport photos of each of us, which they hadn't told us before. Some of us get some done on the way back to the flat.
Early evening and most are in the lounge watching "Three Amigos" while I get my websites in order. Am hoping to get out and see some friends' shows tonight, but only a few shows have actually started as it's technically preview week this week. So, I go to see Natalie Haynes, who is an old friend from '98 at the Cafe Royal (see the 1998 pages). She has a good show, the audience having fun, including a bloke behind me who is laughing like a drain - she tells me afterwards that he is actually an ex of hers that she mentions in the show!
I then go on to see Howard Read - another Big Value veteran. He's doing a very interesting show that I have been keen to see for some time, as I'm a bit of a techie person at heart. He's an award-winning animator, and his show features various Flash animations that he's done, projected onto a screen behind him, along with "Little Howard" which is what you could call an animated puppet, who does what he calls "standing-up comedy" at the end of the show - "Big Howard" can make him do and say certain things depending on what the audience say to him - slight troubles with the keyboard this evening, but they think they've straightened it out and the show is still fab, even with a few little glitches! There are "Little Howard" badges apparently but Howard doesn't have any on him, so I'll have to get one another time.
I then move on to the Pleasance Courtyard to see some friends who are in the Comedy Zone show - unfortunately I miss the start, so go and have a pizza until the show ends. So, out come Gary Delaney and Nick Doody, and we, along with Rob Deering who I have not previously met, go along to the Pleasance Dome for a drink. It seems that this year they are shutting the Pleasance Courtyard a lot earlier (they usher us out around midnight). This is presumably as this is quite a residential area and people will be trying to get some sleep!
So we walk to the Dome, me with a bag containing Nick and Gary's bottles of Bollinger that they apparently got from Avalon - very nice indeed! We get to the Dome bar and lots of old friends there - Natalie and Howard again, James Dowdeswell, Russell Howard, and lots of new people to meet.
We hang out there until about 3am chatting. I find out that Nick, like me, speaks a bit of Esperanto. We start teaching another comic, who is doing a show about Shakespeare's sonnets, a bit of Esperanto grammar! (If you'd like to know more, see my main Links page - I think there's some Esperanto links on there!). It's certainly quite bizarre to be talking about linguistics and Shakespeare's sonnets at this time of the morning - I can quote nearly all of one though so I held my own! We get onto Lear and Milligan nonsense poetry, and then decide it's time for a kebab...
So we start walking homewards, and have the somewhat strange sight of comics eating kebabs and 3.30 in the morning, holding bottles of Bolly. Get home to find that I have the usual early-Edinburgh blisters - they're not too bad though!
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The Cut and Paste Theatre Company
Frankensteins, Edinburgh 2002
From left to right - Caroline, Jenny, Iszi, Dave,
Tom,
Jon, Russ standing behind, me at the front, and Paul